The bronchitis is gone, thankfully, but I have still had sinus issues off and on. There were a few weeks that it seemed like everything was going to be okay, and then I relapsed again last week. This seems to coincide with the times when there is rain or a "cold snap" (i.e. the temperature dips below 90.)
I think it is probably allergy-related. I attended a wedding in Austin, TX last Saturday, four hours from where I live.
I carpooled with three other people, and may have passed my ick along to one of them. It was overcast and rainy nearly the whole time - but my sinuses cleared the moment that the sun came out and the temperature rose again.
This happened at the wedding. Several people got a picture of it. Here's mine.
In other news, I'm still listening to David Bowie pretty much nonstop. I still can't believe he's really gone. This week, my replay of choice has been this album:
I never finished my multi-post unpacking of my 22-year Buckaroo Banzai fandom. It would be easier to just write the fic, but there has been one thing that I posted to Tumblr last month:
As much as I love The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, I have a couple of bones to pick with the narrative. I’ve been attempting to unpack some of it over at my livejournal, but for some reason I feel like this goes here. I’ll probably end up crossposting this over there as well. I’m going to be linking like crazy to TV Tropes for examples, so, if you end up clicking and falling into a nine hour TV Tropes hole, I apologize in advance.
So, Buckaroo’s original love interest Peggy was fridged in a narrative that was touched upon in the film, but was further explored as a part of the backstory in the novelization of The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai: Across the Eighth Dimension. We meet the down-on-her-luck Penny Priddy, who displays hidden depths as the story as the story progresses. The novel rather anvilliciously implies that Penny is actually a mindwiped Peggy; an arc that was explored to its logical conclusion in both the circa-1986-87 fanzine-only fanfic The Penny Paradox, by Leni Sommer and Peggy Spaulding, and Ernest Cline’s fan sequel script for Buckaroo Banzai Against The World Crime League. The film Across The Eighth Dimension sidesteps this part of the plot altogether. The novel places the responsibility for Peggy’s death (and her new existence as “Penny”) at the door of problematicFu Manchuexpy Hanoi Xan, Buckaroo’s original and ultimate archenemy.
When it was just Peggy being fridged and maybe unfridged just the one time, it was a reflection on how creepily fixated Xan was on controlling Buckaroo’s love life and personal relationships. One is reminded of this scene with the Joker and Lex Luthor from DC comics, below, in regards to Xan’s obsession with B. Banzai in general:
But the Buckaroo Banzai comics which came out circa 2006-2007 went and fridged Penny/Peggy again, turning it into something more like the Cartwright Curse. Which is a shame, considering how much detail was spent on Penny’s characterization in the novel (I know most of you didn’t read the novel, but whatever) and considering how much this kind of thing happens in popular media franchises in general. It also kind of sucks in the face of the erasure of the canon female characters from the film Buckaroo Banzai: Across The Eighth Dimension (Pecos, Big Norse, etc.)
The comics seem to suggest that Xan has a cloning operation where he just keeps churning out identical, expendable Penny/Peggy clones.
The Penny Paradox suggests that Peggy and Penny were actually twin sisters separated at a young age and adopted out to different parents, but that Penny’s actual fate is unknown - though she was presumably removed from the equation a long time ago by Xan.
The thing is, I hate this. I hate the idea of Penny just being a sad sack victim of Xan’s mechanations, and a plot device so Buckaroo has to deal with man!pain.
In the unauthorized extrapolation of The Penny Paradox that I was working on (since there was no actual film sequel, the Paradox WAS my fanon sequel for the longest time, and I can’t unsee it) the idea I was running with is that there’s a narrative we don’t know about, where Penny became this badass who sacrificed herself to save the world. Clues alluding to her heroic story would be found by scattered members of Team Banzai, (the likes of which, when assembled, could have provided fodder for a symphonic metal rock opera by the likes of Nightwish or even Dethklok.) She now exists as a guiding spirit, a vengeful angel not unlike Taarna the Taarakian.
I dunno, this is probably just a lot of Bailey’s-soaked ranting, but I really want to write this now.
Someone who talked me out of suicide in 2004 has kind of gone off the chain.
In the "I'm actually the incarnation of Jesus Christ here to rapture all of the Indigo Children" way.
The last time I tried to intervene in something like this, I ended up getting sucked in, and then ended up evicted and several hundred dollars in debt. There's literally nothing I can do but watch this person implode over Twitter.
(EDIT: I have completely re-written this since I originally posted it Saturday.)
The fanfic titled The Penny Paradox, by Leni R. Sommer and Peggy Spaulding, covered the months after the events of Buckaroo Banzai: Across The Eighth Dimension. (It is also available here.) My peer group circa 1993-1995 accepted this fanfic as "canon" in lieu of an actual sequel to The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai: Across The Eighth Dimension. It influenced my own Buckaroo Banzai fanfic, which was essentially a continuation of The Penny Paradox, long before the Buckaroo Banzai comic book was released, or there was any news of a possible TV series in the works - which ultimately failed to materialize, due to the franchise being stuck in Development Hell for decades.
Dead Can Dance - In Power We Entrust The Love Advocated
I need to clear out my storage unit.
Not just because it's an extra 30 bucks a month I will not be spending - but because I need access to my journals from that long ago, before blogging was a thing, and I kept all of my thoughts written down in spiral notebooks.
Because when I'm re-writing a fic that I originally tried to write during 2001-2002, I not only need access to my character notes from back then. I need to know what was going through my head when I first got sucked into these fandoms in the early 1990s and was first plotting the storylines that eventually became my Buckaroo Banzai/X Files fic from 2001-2002.
I know - super important, earthshaking stuff. The truth is, having this info will also help me remember just what the hell was going on with *me* back in those days. Teenage me was a self-absorbed, avoidant, vindictive person with a lot of delusions, but a lot of that happened because I was trying to erect coping mechanisms to deal with what my brain was trying to do to me, along with the utter breakdown and implosion of the first major social circle I was in outside my immediate family.
There was also the need to cast myself as the "hero" in the "movie" which was going on in my head - but most people do that until they learn not to, and why they shouldn't, if they're lucky and they mature enough to realize what they were doing. IMHO it is one of the major differences between people who are actual adults, and people who are still basically children in adult bodies.
I need to remember what I felt about a certain crack ship which became Absolutely Canon in my own head. I was operating from the Wendy Pini/Mercedes Lackey concept of the ships I was writing being ABSOLUTE PSYCHIC SOULMATES FOREVER - a literary trope which Misty eventually tried to walk back in her books, and Wendy Pini later simply redefined as a genetic biological imperative which was being acted upon by psychic science fiction phenomena. Because it's great as a teen fantasy, but that is not how adult relationships actually work.
But back when I was reading those books at 16-18 years of age, I had a starry-eyed vision of the perfect Poly Otherkin/Elf arrangement, an empathic union of souls. People I know as an actual adult have tried that kind of situation with varying levels of success or failure, but IRL it almost never looks like how Wendy Pini presented it in ElfQuest. I was actually mad at both Pini and ElfQuest for years because of this.
A lot of what I wrote is as creepy as the Twilight/50 Shades books can be, because there is a subplot of a young, barely-adult woman being in a state of RECOGNITION/Lifebonding with two men at the same time, both of whom are at least two decades older than she is. At 17 years of age in 1994, this was the most ~*~romantic~*~ thing I could think of, and it still was the most romantic thing I could imagine at 24-25 in 2001-2002, when I was writing it into my Buckaroo Banzai/X Files crossover. To my current adult mind, it's just problematic and horrifying.
So part of the reason that I want to unearth my old journals is, I really need to know if my memory serves me correctly, and I was really that screwed up in the head as a younger person. I would love to find an actual, more rational explanation for this ship, than "THEY'RE PSYCHIC SOULMATES AND IT'S PREDESTINED!!!111" but it's probably not there. Because I *was* that messed up as a young person, and the only thing I can do now is fix the story.
Yves Adele Harlowe is quickly taking over as the central POV character in the Buckaroo Banzai/X Files/Lone Gunmen fanfic from 13 years ago that I am currently trying to rewrite. I don’t really think I can do anything about it at this point.